Did you know ECS launched a podcast? Coffee Talk: From the Ground Up is meant to be educational, entertaining and encouraging with practical advice you can apply directly in your work and life. Listen and subscribe now on Anchor, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and Apple Podcasts.
———–
Intro
Steve Gosselin:
Welcome to Coffee Talk: From the Ground Up, an ECS podcast where we strive to provide a more personable way to communicate with employees. I’m Steve Gosselin, but you can call me Goose. And I’m part of our senior leadership team. And I’m joined here by Julie Smith, who is part of the marketing communications team, and our resident chocoholic. Say hi, Julie.
Julie Smith:
Thanks Steve. Hey everyone. I’m glad you’re joining us today. So, Steve, what are we doing here?
Steve Gosselin:
Great question, Julie. One of the struggles with a company our size is getting a message to the masses without it being diluted along the way. From projects and people, to services and career insight, we hope this podcast helps provide an avenue to communicate the stories that are worth sharing. It’s to learn about our culture and feel more connected, and to have some fun along the way.
Julie Smith:
So, what you’re saying is we hope this podcast is educational, entertaining, and encouraging, with practical advice you can apply directly to your work and life.
Steve Gosselin:
Well said, Julie, and that’s why you’re in marketing.
Julie Smith:
So, grab a cup and settle in.
Our attorney makes us say this. This podcast is for entertainment and informational purposes only, nothing herein shall be construed as providing professional engineering services, or used to establish the standard of care. This podcast and the comments contained therein represent only the personal views of the participants, and do not reflect those of ECS. While we make every effort to ensure that the information we are sharing is accurate, we welcome any comments, suggestions, or correction of errors.
***
Steve Gosselin:
Good morning, everyone. This is Coffee Talk. And today we’ve got a couple of esteemed guests. We’ve got Erik Freeburg, who’s in our national office, and Jillian Dibenedetto, who’s actually in our Cleveland Ohio office. As we always do, we’ll start the day with a safety minute. And today’s safety minute is about hydration. The days are getting cooler. We’re still out working hard and we’re perspiring, but not like we do in the summer, in June, July and August, when we’re hot and we’re sweating, and we’re out in the sun, and we’re really exerting ourselves. We know that it’s important to drink water. As we get into the fall, and especially the winter, we don’t notice it as much, especially because it’s cooler and we’re bundled up, and all the clothes that we have absorb our perspiration, but right now it’s really more important to hydrate, or just as important as it is in the summer, because you don’t warm up quite as much.
You don’t stretch. One of the things we’re really focused on is soft tissue injuries. And so, if you’re dehydrated it’s easier to pull a muscle, to strain, to hurt a joint or things like that. So, make sure that you continue your good hydration practices, especially in the fall and in winter. And just remember, a hydrated body is a happy body. All right, this morning I’m going to introduce Erik. Erik is a subsidiary manager for ECS Southeast, and he resides in our Nashville Tennessee office. He joined ECS a little over 10 years ago. When he’s not working you can find Erik spending time with his wife of almost 15 years, Crystal, and his 10-year-old son, [Cale 00:03:38], and eight-year-old daughter, [Sloan 00:03:41]. Erik and his family love to be outside. They love the outdoors, and especially love to mountain bike, kayak, go hiking, camping, anything they can do to enjoy the beautiful countryside in Tennessee. So Erik, I’ll ask you your five rapid fire questions. So, you ready?
Erik Freeburg:
Hit me.
Steve Gosselin:
All right. What’s your favorite food?
Erik Freeburg:
Yeah, that’s impossible to answer without context. Food depends on what mood you’re in, but I’ll tell you my favorite dessert was the chocolate souffle at the Snake River Grill and Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I could eat that, I think at every meal of the day, be 400 pounds but I would be happy.
Steve Gosselin:
No kidding. Yeah. That’s a great restaurant. I can’t believe that. That’s cool. Last book you read?
Erik Freeburg:
Last non-work related book that I read was the biography of Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson. It was great, lot of great lessons there from him in terms of how to be a good leader, but also some lessons of what not to do as well.
Steve Gosselin:
All right. Favorite movie?
Erik Freeburg:
Shawshank Redemption. It’s an old one, but I still love it.
Steve Gosselin:
It’s a classic. It’s a great, great movie. Love it. I use that all the time in leadership and management training. Favorite hobby?
Erik Freeburg:
I love mountain biking and skiing. Summer and winter sports.
Steve Gosselin:
Yeah. And what is something most people don’t know about you?
Erik Freeburg:
Yeah. So, at this point I’ve probably used this one enough times throughout my 10 years at ECS. But when I was in college, I performed the double trapeze in the circus at the Florida State Flying High three ring circus. It was a great, happy time, and learned a lot, and loved doing it. But that’s a fun fact that most people still don’t know.
Steve Gosselin:
Yeah. That’s awesome. You’ve told me that story before. It’s a great one. If y’all ever get a chance to spend one-on-one time with Erik, ask him about his time in the circus. Okay, Julie, you’re up.
Julie Smith:
All right. Well, Jillian joined ECS in August of this year, and is the marketing pursuits manager for the Midwest subsidiary, and she’s in our Cleveland Ohio office. As a lifelong learner, Jillian is a marketer who understands the significance of setting goals, and embracing evolution. And she credits her family as the inspiration behind her desire to strive for daily improvement. All right Jillian, are you ready for your rapid fire questions?
Jillian DiBenedetto:
I’m ready.
Julie Smith:
All right. What’s the last book you read?
Jillian DiBenedetto:
Read? It’s been a while, but listening to Billy Summers on Audible by Stephen King in honor of Halloween, I wanted something full of suspense, and I got it.
Julie Smith:
There you go. I can’t do scary. No, not for me, but what’s your best vacation spot?
Jillian DiBenedetto:
I’d say anywhere warm, with warm beach water, sunny, light breeze. So, as long as it hits those I’m good, and I’m there.
Julie Smith:
Yes, yes. Okay. I’m on the same page with you there. Yes. Warm and sunny, ocean breeze. Yes.
Jillian DiBenedetto:
Warm beach water.
Julie Smith:
That’s right. That’s right. What song would you choose to karaoke?
Jillian DiBenedetto:
It’s important to note that I am no singer at all, but I Will Always Love You, the Whitney Houston version gets me going, and if that comes on, I might lose it. So, I think I do very well in a karaoke setting.
Julie Smith:
Yes. Yes. That’s a good one. Also, that’s very ambitious of you to try to replicate Whitney, but I’ll take it. What is something that you like to do the old fashioned way?
Jillian DiBenedetto:
I love to take notes by hand, and sometimes it can add an extra layer of work going back in and maybe typing, or reading through. But I just love it. I feel like I remember it more, and it makes so much sense to me taking notes by hand.
Julie Smith:
Yeah. Yeah. I also love writing things by hand. Yeah. It definitely helps you remember things better. Okay. And last one, what do you hope never changes?
Jillian DiBenedetto:
Well, I guess it fits right in with this coffee talk, but the way my children want to snuggle with me, and cuddle with me, and kind of get big hugs for me. I know it’s going to change, but I hope it never does.
Julie Smith:
Yes. Well, awesome. All right, Steve, I’ll turn it back over to you.
Steve Gosselin:
All right. Thanks. This segment we’ll just ask you both what’s your ECS story. So Erik, tell us a little bit about how you came here, your path along the way, and maybe a little bit about how you got into Nashville, and some of the things you’re doing out there. So, just give us a little idea about that’s your story here at ECS.
Erik Freeburg:
Yeah, sure. I almost have it on autopilot, or I feel like I’ve told this story so many times over the years, but I moved to Charlotte, North Carolina, right after college, going to Florida State. Worked for a smaller local competitor there for the first six years. Got my engineering license, and had been doing work at that company, had great experience. Learned from some great engineers, and was mentored, and had an opportunity to learn a lot there, but felt like my career opportunities had kind of peaked. And in the meantime, I had been working on a project, it was a forensic engineering project, for Sterling Elementary School right off of South Boulevard there in South Charlotte. And met a couple of the ECS folks while we were working on that, going through that legal process. And so, company I was working for had been hired by the school system for CMS, and ECS had been hired by the attorney for the contractor.
Erik Freeburg:
And we essentially sat across the table, and we did comparative data. I came up with my recommendations, and Paul Blake, who was sitting on the other side with Steve [Meese 00:09:25], came up with their recommendations and we essentially sat across the table, called each other some names, I thought they were wrong and they told me why they thought I was wrong. And when it all … The dust settled, I remember Paul Blake called me up and he said, “I think you should come work at ECS.” I had that conversation with him. He kind of spelled out a plan for what my career could look like at ECS, and I was here a couple months later. So, that was March of 2011. So, it’s been about 10 and a half years at this point, came over as a project manager, and had an opportunity to, and continue to, work with some incredible men and women that have been huge influences on my professional development.
So Steve, you were certainly one of those men, so appreciate everything, all the time I’ve had to work with you. But I came over to the project manager, worked in that role for a couple years, and then got an opportunity to move into the geo technical department manager role. I think when I started there we had about five people in that group, and then through good fortune and great people we were able to grow from five to about 25 people over the next three to four years in the geo technical group. And then as Paul Blake, who was the acting branch manager in Charlotte, had an opportunity to move up he tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to step into the branch manager role for Charlotte, which I did for several years.
And then next thing I knew, as I started kind of looking around, and looking for what was going to be next for me and where I could continue to grow, and help people around me, met with Steve and had an opportunity to come out here to Nashville, Tennessee, beautiful music city, serve as a regional manager here, covering what we call … Refer to as our Western region of Southeast. So, I came here in January of 2019, and I’ve been spending the last almost three years getting settled in, and learning the market out here. And so, I’ve continued to work with amazing people, and I’m always excited about what tomorrow’s going to look like here, but it’s definitely been an adventure. They’ve been a wonderful 10 years.
Steve Gosselin:
Awesome. That’s great. So yeah, I threw Erik a curve ball a few years ago, he and I had many conversations along that time, and he was always good about asking what’s next for him. And we had had one of those conversations. I got thinking about reorganized the Southeast. And so, I sat down with him and said, “You know, I’m going to offer you a position to be a regional manager.” And he got all excited. And I said, “Yeah, but it comes with a caveat. You’re going to have to move to Nashville.” And he thought a minute, he said, :Okay, I’ll talk to Crystal and I’ll get back to you.” And I think a big part about what we’re talking about today is work life balance, support at home, taking care of your family, making decisions along the way. Tell us a little bit about decision making process, and then how it’s worked out, not only with your family but with your extended family too, because this is really a great story. And I think it’s important that everybody hears how all this has worked out for you, and your family.
Erik Freeburg:
Yeah, sure. Certainly that was a hard conversation. I won’t get into the details of how I broke it to my wife when we first started that in that conversation. But I can just say that I should not have chosen a public place to do that. It was definitely a conversation. It was give and receive, we talked about it, that we’d been in Charlotte for 14 years and had built a great friend network there, both personal and professional, had had two of my cousins had moved from South Florida to be up there in Charlotte nearby our kids and all their friends. Both of them were born and raised in Charlotte. So, it was a difficult decision to move, but we felt like the opportunity was right.
Our kids were at an age at that point where it wasn’t going to be as disruptive as if they had been a little bit older in middle school and high school, and really entrenched in their school and activities. We made a decision to come to Nashville, not knowing really what was going to be in store for us, but trusting that we were making the right choice. And so, we came out here and started getting plugged in, and building a new network, going out and doing industry events and meeting people out here. In the meantime, we were able to convince our family, or my family really, my brother and his family moved from California. And my dad moved up here from the Florida Keys.
And it’s the first time, and since I was in high school, that our family has all been together in one … Not just one state, but one city. And so, took a little bit of time, something we had been hoping for and wanting for to have family close for many years. But after all that time we’ve got everybody here, and it’s been an amazing experience. And there’s nothing like having family close by.
Steve Gosselin:
There you go. Yeah, great. That is a great story. And I wonder it’s a tribute to you and Crystal, and your family, for making all this work. And one thing our listeners need to know as well is crystal is a PE, she’s a professional engineer, and formally worked with actually one of our better clients here in the Carolinas, at WK Dickson. So, great story, Erik. I really appreciate you sharing that with all of us.
Erik Freeburg:
Absolutely.
Steve Gosselin:
All right, Julie, you’re up.
Julie Smith:
Yeah. All right, Jillian. So, you’ve only been with ECS for a short little while compared to Erik, but I’d love to hear kind of how you got here, a little bit of your background, and what you’re up to. So, your version of your ECS story.
Jillian DiBenedetto:
Well, I’m originally from Boston, not from the Cleveland area. This month actually marks my six years being in Cleveland. And I came here actually for love when my now husband proposed to me, we became engaged. We decided someone had to move somewhere. So, I actually took the shot, and came out west, I guess I’d say. For the bulk of the time I’ve been here doing marketing at an architectural firm, when I was pregnant with my now six-month-old baby, the branch manager here, and my husband, are actually pretty good friends. And he suggested that I apply for the marketing manager position, and I did it because I was pregnant. And so, after I had the baby the position was still open. And I believe that they’d interviewed a few people, but just didn’t really find a good fit.
So, I applied, and was really interested in the position. And after meeting with the marketing team via teams, it felt good. So, I had a series of interviews with the team, and each time we’d meet it was just like, wow, I like these people. I think this is meant for me, but you know you don’t want to get too attached in the interview stage. And eventually I met with Chris Lopez, our subsidiary president, and was offered the job. And here I am a few months later, and that feels really good. It almost feels like I’ve been here for a lot longer than that, but in a good way, because the comfort’s there.
Julie Smith:
Yeah. Oh, that’s awesome. I mean, I’m biased because I am part of the marketing team. So, of course you thought we were awesome because we are, but I definitely feel like we have that sense of family and camaraderie. And so, I’m glad that you feel that, even though it was through teams and through other ways, but glad that you have that experience. Okay. So, you mentioned that you were pregnant, and you have been now six-month-old. You also have another child. How old is [crosstalk 00:16:39]
Jillian DiBenedetto:
I have a two-year-old, she’s actually 26 months. So, she just turned to a little while ago, and I have Sasha and I have Sophia. So, it’s pretty interesting with two small girls. It’s a lot of fun, I’ll say that.
Julie Smith:
Yes. Yes. Love it. Love it.
Steve Gosselin:
All right. Well, I’ll jump back in. We’ll jump in a little bit about work life, balance, family parenting, how y’all make it look easy. So Erik, just tell us a little bit about your kids, your family situation. How old are your kids? I think they’re in school, what they’re doing, and how you do your best to balance what’s going on at work, all the travel you do, and taking care of things, or helping take care of things at home along with Crystal.
Erik Freeburg:
Yeah, sure. Yeah. So, Crystal and I, she is an engineer and we met in college in calculus 3, the most romantic class in school. So, I’ll throw that in there. But yeah, we’ve been married 15 years. We have our son, Cale is 10, and our daughter Sloan is eight. And so, Cale’s in fourth grade, Sloan’s in third grade. So, they’re really close together in school. They are great friends out of school too, although neither of them would actually admit that. But yeah, we’ve got a lot of happy times at the house. As you said in the introduction, we do a lot of stuff outside together. That’s a big source of joy for us, just the big part of our family life at home. But I mean, one of the things just in terms of … I definitely have been traveling a lot more over the past three years, more than I ever did when I was situated in Charlotte.
So, part of my time with them is making sure that when I’m in town that I’m home for dinner every night. I really try to make that a priority. I try to be at all the kids practices, make sure that I’m involved with … When I’m here I make sure that I am here. Try not to work late, do too many nighttime events. Although, sometimes that can’t be avoided, but I make sure that I’m home for dinner every night so that we can sit down, we can eat a meal together. We can talk about the day, figure out what we … Work on homework, do that time. And then if I need to fire up the computer later in the evening, then I’ll fire that up. And so, that’s kind of the balance that I strike.
Certainly when I’m traveling and I’m out of town, I make sure that I FaceTime, or at least talk to them. I try to call them when they’re driving into school and I can catch all three of them in the car at the same time. And then when they’re coming home, when Crystal’s picking them up from school, make sure that I try to get them on the phone there. I’d be lying if I didn’t say what a huge support Crystal is, and how much she does. Truth is I wouldn’t be able to do everything that I do if it wasn’t for her, and the extremely active role that she takes in helping take care of our kids. And so, having her support is the big … Most important thing for me.
Steve Gosselin:
Yeah. I have no doubt about that for sure. And kids, I’d say most kids, not all kids, they’re pretty resilient. They can handle a lot of stuff, and get through it okay. But how do your kids … I mean, do they understand if you’re gone all day at work, or maybe gone for a few days? I mean, do they understand what’s going on, what you’re doing, and do y’all talk about that? I mean, how do you deal with the time you spend away with the kids?
Erik Freeburg:
Yeah. We definitely talk about that. And so, it’s harder honestly now that they’re older. When they were little I could just go away, or go to work, and they didn’t ask a lot of questions. But now that they’re getting older, they’ll ask, “Are you going to be there in the morning? Are you going to be gone tomorrow a night?” And so, having those conversations about what I’m doing, and why I’m doing that, and why I need to be away, can have … Especially with Cale, who’s 10, spending that time with him and letting him have … Helping him to understand why it is that I’m leaving, and what I’m trying to accomplish. I won’t say he gets the bigger picture yet, but he’s asking good questions. And he certainly understands that what I’m doing is important, and that it’s important to me. And so, I think that’s the biggest thing for him.
Steve Gosselin:
Yeah. Julie, I’ll kick it to you and let you and Jillian work through a few of these questions, and see what she has to say. I’m really curious with the two young girls. This is going to be good.
Julie Smith:
Yeah. Yeah. Okay, Jillian. So, what are some ways that you’re, I won’t say preventing, but maybe easing the feeling of burnout? Talk about your work life balance, and what do you do to take care of you, too?
Jillian DiBenedetto:
Well, I definitely try to make time for fun. I find that if I’m feeling burnt out, or really overwhelmed maybe just kind of getting away, playing with them, laughing with them. That really, really helps. It’s tricky with them being so young, and kind of opposite of Erik. Maybe not understanding everything, even just in the day-to-day home routine. So, kind of laughing with them, having fun with them. And when I do have to work at night, I kind of make sure that I put them down.
And then we spend the evening together with my husband so that when I’m getting back on, I’m able to connect, I’ve had my time with them, and I’m kind of done with that. And now I go to work. Interestingly, my husband is also a geo technical engineer, as Erik is. So, he’s often on at night, and sometimes we’re kind of on together. And even that is nice, because even though we may not be speaking we’re still spending time together, maybe working on things next to each other. So, that’s nice.
Julie Smith:
Yeah. Yeah. I really value that, that quality time, even like you said, it’s not necessarily talking or doing something, but just being together really can have a positive impact. Okay. What has raising kids taught you that you use in the workplace?
Jillian DiBenedetto:
A lot of patience. Having two small all girls, you need it. Any two small children, and a lot of patience. And I think another thing it has taught me is how to talk their language. And that even helps here in the workplace if you have a desired goal. Sometimes the delivery really matters. And so, how you kind of get that out, how you start the conversation, how you communicate can really result in a good end goal if you’re going about it the right way. So, I try to be very patient and understanding, that even if I do talk their talk, the first, second, or third time, I may not always get it, but eventually it does happen. I’m kind of just keeping it going with giving them what they want to hear. With Sasha, for example, she really likes choices. So, putting two things in front of her that are okay with me, and letting her choose, she really enjoys that. So, I’m kind of learning to just talk her talk, and it’s very helpful.
Julie Smith:
Yeah. Yeah. I definitely think that’s a skill we can use with all of the different people that we interact with.
Jillian DiBenedetto:
And especially for me with the whole subsidiary, there’s so many people in different locations that I’m dealing with, and everyone has a different talk. And so, being able to use that it’s really helpful meeting people where they are, and talking to them how they prefer to be talked to is very important.
Julie Smith:
Yeah. Yeah. That’s awesome.
Steve Gosselin:
So, Jillian, I’ve got a question for you. And then get ready, Erik, because you’re going to get the same question. But having your own kids, kids don’t understand the concept of time. They’re always asking you what’s next, when’s daddy coming home? When’s dinner? When are we going to go here? How long is that going to take? Stuff like that. And you throw out to them 15 minutes, four hours, at 5:00. And they kind of look at you. So, how do you explain to your girls the concept of time? How do you break it down to where they understand the length?
Jillian DiBenedetto:
Well, with Sasha I try to talk through things. So, if we’re doing something I’ll say, “We’ll do this for a few minutes. And then after that, we’re going to move on to the next task.” Interestingly, last night she was just ready for bed and we couldn’t go to bed because I had to heat up her little sister Sophia’s bottle. And she was so angry. She couldn’t understand it. So, we have a digital clock on the stove. And so, I showed her that it’s at 5:00, as it goes down it gets to zero, that’s when we’ll be making our way to the bed. And I don’t know that she fully grasped it, but I think she kind of respected the fact that I gave her a little something to work with. And so, I try to just be realistic with her.
Jillian DiBenedetto:
“Hey, we’re going to be in the tub for a few more minutes, and then we got to get out. And after that we’re going to read a book, and two books maximum,” kind of give her what she can grasp. Because she’ll try to bring five books out, and they’ll be the longest books ever, especially on a night when I got to get back to work. So, I don’t know that she fully understands time the way I’m sure Erik’s kids do, but she’s getting there, and giving her a little bit time by time she’s getting there. I don’t know where we’ll be in a few years if she’ll actually love the answer, but she’s starting to grasp it just a bit.
Steve Gosselin:
All right. Great answer. All right, E, what about you? How do you deal with kids? How do you explain to them time, duration, and kind of set expectations for them?
Erik Freeburg:
Oh man. Well, I think Jillian’s kids may be ahead of my kids in that regard. So, no. I’m just kidding. So, part of it is going through, and I grew up doing a lot of sports and activities, and so everything’s a competition to some extent. And so, we use that a lot in our family. We do lots of obstacle course races that sometimes are just made up in the backyard, and timing, and seeing if we can beat one time over another. But really it’s just knowing that there is a certain finite amount of time to accomplish different tasks. And so, Sloan, my eight-year-old, loves to bake. And so, if you ask her right now I think she should be a dentist because she loves pulling teeth, but she says she wants to be a pastry chef.
And so, we’ve been watching too much Great British Baking Show. And part of that is a lot of time management, how you accomplish different tasks, all the things that you’ve got to get done in a certain amount of time. And she loves the chaos of that show, and I do too, but she’s been trying to learn to bake. And part of those, you look at the instructions, and it says that this should take 15 minutes of prep time, 30 minutes of baking time, and the total time should be 45 minutes. And so, trying to get that understanding is that, to measure out all your ingredients, to do all these things, to put those together, it takes a certain amount of time. And if you’re going beyond that time, that there are things that you need to be doing to improve your efficiency and stuff.
So, she’s eight, so that’s limited in what we can talk about that, but just making sure. And also just in preparation. So, for Cale, our 10-year-old, just trying to get ready in time for school, get ready before he goes to a sporting event, starting to … You know that you have all these tasks to [inaudible 00:27:34] you get ready to go anywhere, and you need to start at this time in order to prepare, to be ready to walk outdoor at 8:30 in the morning. And so, they actually do a good job. They don’t start as early as I would like to see, start preparing, but they can squish some activities in a short amount of time, more than most kids, I think.
Steve Gosselin:
Good stuff. I love it. So, we’ll stay with you, Erik. So, you have any recommendations for our folks out there, either tools, or resources, or maybe recommendations to the folks listening how to deal with some of the work life balance issues that we all deal with in working for a consulting firm, and having tight deadlines? I mean, is there anything you’ve learned along the way that you can share with our folks?
Erik Freeburg:
You know, the biggest thing that I’ve learned is just to find your community, whether it’s friends, or neighbors, your church, some sort of community that you can go to. I find that the best resource is talking to someone who’s going through the same thing that you’re going through. Sometimes it’s as simple as having somebody just to bend their ear, to have them listen to what you’re going through. And hopefully getting some war stories from them on how they’ve made it through on the backend. Certainly for me, I talk to my dad all the time, try to talk through with him some of the ways that he’d managed my brother and I as we were growing up, and he’s a great resource for me.
But really, I talk to my neighbors. I’ve got neighbors that are great friends here. Same with those back in Charlotte, colleagues that I work with that I’ve talk to as well. So, a lot of times it’s just finding those people who are going through the same season in life that you’re going through, and asking for help, and not being afraid to ask for it when you need it, and just getting it out there.
Steve Gosselin:
Great. Jillian, I’ll throw that to you. And then Julie can follow up with a follow-up question if she’s got some more. I’m sure she’s full of questions.
Jillian DiBenedetto:
So, I guess I would say if you have family and friends who are willing to support, taking them up on it. I think sometimes, at least especially in America, we can be really nuclear. And it’s just me, and my husband, and my kids. And I know for me in the beginning with my in-laws, I almost didn’t want to accept the support that they would give. And maybe I felt that I was doing something wrong, I was … Something’s inadequate. Something’s going wrong here if I need you to come help me out. And I need you. And with time I realized that that was a real silly thought. And in that it takes a village mentality is very true. And so, being able to let them in when we need some support, and sometimes even when we don’t need it, and they just want to come over and hang out, and see them, it gives us a break.
That’s been very, very helpful. And I think if you have it, definitely take it. And as Erik mentioned, having a community. We do have a few friends, and maybe some of their children are older, and maybe a few that have kids our age, talking with them really normalizes things. I’m like, “Hey, I don’t know what I’m doing. This house always looks like a daycare, there are toys everywhere no matter what I do.” And they’re like, “Yeah, wait till they get older, it gets better.” And so, being able to hear these things is very helpful. It kind of makes you feel like, huh, it’s not just me. This is how it goes. And it helps you to accept your situation. So yeah, that’s what I think.
Julie Smith:
Yeah. I think that’s great. Okay. So, we talked about community and sharing with other folks in your community. Can we talk a little bit about communicating, and expectations in the workplace? Erik, as a manager, what do you do to help your team members that are trying to figure out this work life balance? And Jillian, for you as a new team member, what are you figuring out that you need to communicate with your team, with your leadership to make sure that you have that kind work life integration balance, If you will? Erik, I’ll go to you first.
Erik Freeburg:
Sure. Thanks, Julie. You know, that’s definitely a struggle right now. So, in all my years in this business this is probably the busiest that I can ever remember being, and seeing everyone. We’ve got labor shortages, lots of work going on. We’re striving to be the best in every market that we serve. And it’s putting a lot of strain on our folks. And so, my team as I talk to them one, one of the biggest things, and I think sometimes it falls on deaf ears a little bit, but what I tell them is don’t be afraid to say no. There are sometimes when it is okay to say no, it’s okay to put things in their place and prioritize. And sometimes our personal priorities need to come ahead of what we’re doing for work.
It’s about communicating expectations, making sure that we’re talking to our clients, that we’re saying that, “This is when I can get this report to you. This is when our drill rigs are going to be on site,” and being okay that it’s the best we can do. And knowing that sometimes you’ve got to cut it out, and you’ve got to go home, and you’ve got to be at your kids gymnastics practice, or be home for dinner, or just unplug. So, not being afraid to say no, and to just communicate what the schedule’s going to be, regardless of whether or not it’s necessarily the answer that people want to hear.
Julie Smith:
Yeah. That’s great. And then, Jillian, how about you?
Jillian DiBenedetto:
I think a lot of what Erik says resonates with me also, just setting a clear expectation of what I can give, and what I can’t, and a team member in to help out is really helpful. And as you said, the marketing team is really awesome. Very, very supportive. Recently, I was working on something with a marketing team member, and I’d said something like, “Well, after I put the girls down, and I’ll hop back on and I’ll take care of it.” And she was like, “Well, why? I can take care of it.” And it was about 11:30 that night when I finally got back to be able to get some work down. The girls actually put me down. So, then I woke up like, “Oh no, I have to run. I have to check my computer,” and she’d already taken care of it.
And it was such a great feeling to be a part of a caring team, an understanding team. So, for me, just being very clear and honest on what I need, if I’m going to come in late, if there’s an appointment, if I can’t get to something, it’s very, very, very helpful for me and for whoever’s supporting me. And that way we can actually get things done, and maybe divvy up the work in a way that works for everyone.
Steve Gosselin:
So, Jillian, I’ve got a follow-up to some of your comments earlier, talking about work life balance, accepting help from family, from friends, from coworkers, trying to get things done. And I’ll ask it in a context of I’m a parent of adult children. My daughter has two young kids, a two-year-old, a seven-year-old, they’re 10 hours away. So, it’s not like they’re right down the street, or right around the corner, but we … Karen and I try to get down there and help as much as possible. And in fact, we just flew in last night from South Florida, helping them out again this weekend. So, it gives us an opportunity to spend time with the grandkids, but also to let them have time together.
So, if you have anything that you want to share with our folks about what it’s like getting the support … For me, it’s about not only taking care of the kids, but I got to make sure that my daughter and son-in-law are nurturing their relationship as well, too. And making sure they’re spending some quality time together, because I remember how stressful it was. So, any recommendations or encouragement for our listeners?
Jillian DiBenedetto:
Yeah. You know, at first we would feel like if we were getting support it had to just be for us to get something done, to go get the groceries. We can clean up a lot quicker when they’re not home than when they’re home. And eventually it started being like, “Hey, well why don’t we have a date night? Or why don’t we go out to eat?” And with two young children, you should see us when it is dinner time, we have to eat really quickly. We’re almost not chewing because something’s going to happen and we can’t … When we finally had a time, a date, to go out and just eat slowly, and enjoy a glass of wine, that felt really good. And that was so refreshing. And it helped us recharge. So then, now when we pick them up and we spend the next week or two shoving our dinners down our throat so that we could be ready to tackle the next obstacle that comes up, being able to take breaks are really, really nice.
I think, additionally, especially for us women, men too, but we like to look nice, and pamper ourselves, and I would have a big guilt factor on maybe going to get my hair cut, or going to get my nails done, or things like that. But it’s actually something that my husband really enjoys. So, being able to keep up with that for myself, and for him, is very important. We can lose ourselves with so much of being parents, and working, and you got to hold onto that as hard as it is. It’s very, very important, because as my in-laws would say, they’re going to grow up one day, and they’re going to leave and they’re going to start their own lives, and you have to be able to have held onto something that makes you, you. So, yeah.
Steve Gosselin:
That’s awesome. Yeah. Great answer. What about you? You got anything for our listeners?
Erik Freeburg:
Yeah. I mean, I think the big thing there is it’s hard to find time. You have to be intentional about finding that time to kind of recharge your batteries, particularly with … In a relationship. It’s hard to find date nights, even though we have family here now we just find ourselves getting caught up and busy with either work, or kids schedules, or just other obligations that we’ve got. So, one of the things that crystal and I have found has been successful for us is trying to do just quick lunch dates. I can walk through the green way at the office here to a couple places in the little shopping complex behind us. And I’ll walk over there.
And Crystal will come meet me for lunch. She’ll let me know if she’s going to be in Cool Springs. And if I don’t have something that’s conflicting with that, sometimes it’s just a quick 30-minute lunch date and we sit down, and we eat, and then we go separate ways. But that’s enough to recharge our batteries, let us catch up on the day, talk through schedules, make sure that we’re connecting with one another. And that helps me recharge my batteries, and get back into the rest of the day, the rest of the week. So, we do that where we can, and sometimes it’s less frequent than I’d like, but that helps a lot.
Steve Gosselin:
Those are, from both of y’all, those are great words of wisdom. And I think what it does, it reinforces the importance of taking care of your relationship with your significant other, because if that’s good then the kids see that as well, too. And so, that goes a long way to making the whole work life balance, the family unit, all that stuff work better. But I love the comment, Jillian, about dinner time, and shoveling the food as fast as she can because she knows some crisis is coming up. So, you got to be prepared.
Jillian DiBenedetto:
Yeah.
Steve Gosselin:
All right. So, we’ll fire to Erik. Any final words of wisdom, or encouragement you’d like to leave our listeners with?
Erik Freeburg:
Yeah. It’s easier said than done, but I think the big thing is to put things in perspective. We are always going to have crises that come up, and things that are going to be difficult. We’re going to have challenges, and we’re going to have anxiety, and we’re going to have difficulties through our personal lives, through work life certainly. We’re in the consulting business. And so, that comes with a rapid fire response requirement. We’re constantly on our toes and ready to make a move quick. And so, that comes with a lot of anxiety. The big encouragement is just that this too shall pass. Just make sure that we put things in perspective, realize that now that the struggles of today are not necessarily going to be the same struggles that we’ve got tomorrow. Don’t allow anxiety to control your life.
It’s something that you are in control of how you respond to stress in your life. And so, just put things in the box, and roll with the punches. I try to do that, some days are better than others, but I think more often than not I’m able to lay down at night and sleep well, and know that the problems will be there or not in the morning, and I’ll deal with them then.
Steve Gosselin:
Awesome. How about you, Jillian?
Jillian DiBenedetto:
I think for me it’s take it day-by-day. Sometimes I think if we think too far ahead, and then we start thinking about everything that’s involved, and even if it’s planning a small vacation, or whatever have you, just kind of going day by day is really helpful. Having those mini tasks as opposed to one long running list of everything that has to get done. On Fridays, I create these long ambitious to-do lists for the weekend. And if I don’t get them all done by Sunday evening, I’m beating myself up. And so, being grateful for what I have been able to accomplish is another thing I’d recommend.
And just in general, being grateful, as Erik said it’s going to be there in the morning, and to stress out about it, or to maybe beat yourself up it doesn’t really help out. And sometimes if you just look at maybe what other people could be going through all over the world, you just want to be grateful for what we have. Beautiful families, and great careers, wonderful companies that we work for. Just being grateful for it, I think can change your whole mentality, and just let you breathe a bit. I think that’s what works for me and I’d recommend that.
Steve Gosselin:
Yeah. Great words of wisdom. That’s awesome. Julie, you want to take the final question? Fire it out to Erik and Jillian?
Julie Smith:
Sure. All right. So, since the show is called Coffee Talk, our final question is what fills your cup, or what brings you joy? So Jillian, I’ll start with you. What fills your cup?
Jillian DiBenedetto:
Really, what fills my cup, what brings me joy is the sound of my daughter’s laughter. My six-month-old has just started laughing, and it’s really just such a beautiful sound. It makes everything worth it. And kind of being able to goof around with Sasha, my two-year-old, that really fills my cup. Spending some time with my husband, and even my me time. So, whether that’s on the phone with my girlfriends, or getting out with some girlfriends that I have here, having some time alone with him, that’s how I fill my cup.
Julie Smith:
I love that. All right, Erik, same question. What fills your cup?
Erik Freeburg:
I don’t know that I have a clean answer for this one. I love my life. I love my work. I love my family. I love a lot of the things that … I’m happy with the life that I’ve got. I was trying to think through like, all right, where are times when I feel real joy, and excitement? And the first thing that was popping into my head was being at the top of Powder Mountain out in Utah, with my kids on a day where we were skiing with them. This is earlier this year, I guess that was two years ago now. And just being shoulder to shoulder with them, and seeing the joy on their face, and how excited they were to be doing something really cool with mom and dad, and to be up there, and seeing the …
Just having them be excited to be with us doing something that brings all of us to joy collectively as a family. And I think that’s kind of one of my happiest moments, just realizing that the kids are getting older, that they’re loving the things that we love. That was a happy, happy moment for me. So, want many more of those, but just family time fills my cup.
Steve Gosselin:
All right. Excellent. So, we’ll go ahead and wrap this up. I want to thank both of y’all for taking time out of your busy schedules. I know y’all have a lot of stuff going on. And talking today about work life balance, taking care of families, work, things like that, y’all make it look easy. You really do. I know that, yeah, you might be shaking your head, or not me, but everybody’s got stuff going on. Everybody’s got stuff they’re dealing with, and y’all do an excellent job of balancing it, taking care of it, getting through it. And really the way that you demonstrated that today was how both of y’all talked about gratitude, and how important gratitude is in your life. And that you understand that you’re going to have challenges along the way, but you’ve got an extended family, you’ve got a support group, and you’re going to do the best you can with what you got at the time, and get it done. So, kudos to both of y’all for being a great example of what it’s like to be not only a committed employee, but committed to your families as well, too. So, thanks for taking time out today.
***
Outro
Steve Gosselin:
Thank you for listening to Coffee Talk: From the Ground Up. We hope you enjoy today’s episode. If you have an idea on future topics, guests, or up for a round of golf, you can call me, text me, email me, just get in touch with me and I’ll get it to Julie, and we’ll get it set up.
Julie Smith:
And for those of you that don’t want to play golf, and you may hate talking on the phone, that’s okay. You can send us an email at ecsmarketing@ecslimited.com. Be sure to follow us on social media, and subscribe to this podcast so you never miss an episode.
Steve Gosselin:
Thanks Julie, here’s to having a great day.